The Guide To Using Sex Toys For Couples

How to Use Sex Toys as a Couple

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According to the Global Durex Survey, 52% of people asked said that lovers will become more experimental while 54% expect greater tolerance of sexual preferences and practices in the future. That means people are considering the wide array of possibilities when it comes to sexual activity and the significance it will play on their love lives. In most relationships, one partner or the other has considered the use of sex toys in their sexual play. Whether or not they've brought the subject up to their significant other is another matter entirely.

Many partners, men especially, may feel a little intimidated by the use of a sex toy but a sex toy in the bedroom is not a replacement, it is more of an enhancement. The fact of the matter is that adult toys are not meant to demean anyone's sexual skills: They Enhance!! Much like a dishwasher makes cleaning dishes a bit easier and more efficient, sex toys are another modern marvel that can help couples take their relationship to new heights.And as any happy couple knows, the key to a great sex life often includes experimentation. Learning the right way to approach the subject with your partner can significantly increase your chances of getting them to at least try it.

Benefits for Couples Using Sex Toys

Before talking to your partner about sex toys, it's important to know some reasons and benefits for couples to use them. This way, when you're partner asks you why, you can give them a specific reason. Just like any other discussion in life, having a well-prepared, positive case will go over much better with your partner.

Using Sex Toys Can :

Looking to spice up the sexual relationship

Just as no one eats the same meal everyday of the year, no one likes to do the same things repeatedly in the bedroom. After all, variety is the spice of life. Experimenting is healthy, and recommended, for a stellar sex life! According to the Global Durex Survey, two-thirds of those surveyed said they didn't use products to enhance their sex lives, though half of them wished they did.

Open communication about desires and fantasies

Many people may have trouble expressing what they'd really like in the bedroom, and introducing toys can help open those lines of communication. Furthermore, sex toys give couples the chance to learn about each other's bodies and what pleases them the most. Learning this together can take intimacy and passion to a whole new level, and provide the relationship with a closeness you both desire.

Helps create some playfulness in the sexual relationship

This is important because "all business" can be a turn-on when appropriate; however, you don't want your love life to become routine. Adding a little playfulness can keep things interesting as well as keep your partner guessing. Plus using sex toys can also extend foreplay and sexual play, making intimacy and passion a high priority in the bedroom.

Improve performance in the bedroom

Sex toys can be a remedy for many sexual dysfunctions such as anorgasmia, low libido, vaginal pain, erectile dysfunction, and premature ejaculation. If performance is an issue in your relationship, sex toys can provide a means to improving it, no matter which sexual problem you may encounter.

Increase the odds of a woman achieving orgasm

Many women have a very difficult time achieving orgasm through vaginal penetration alone, some form of clitoral stimulation is necessary for most women to achieve an orgasm. And, no matter how big her partner's penis is, it is impossible for it to stimulate the vagina and the clitoris at the same time. By introducing sex toys into the bedroom, a man can stimulate both the vagina and the clitoris and really rock his partner's world.

Introduce Using Sex Toys: Bringing It Up (No Pun Intended)

It's important to be sensitive to your partner's feelings when you bring up the topic of using sex toys. Feelings of inadequacy are likely to occur, even if that isn't your intention. Honesty is important, but if using sex toys is a result of inadequacy, be sure to remain positive and encouraging. Don't just blurt out that your lover is inadequate and the toys are to fill in the gaps. That will only make your partner resent the toys and give him or her performance anxiety.

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60% of us say that sex is fun, enjoyable, and a vital part of life. However, only 44% of people are fully satisfied with their sex lives.

Did you know?

31% of couples would like more fun and better communication and intimacy with their partner

As poor performance in the bedroom is a cause for strain in the relationship, introducing toys can be a great way to vastly improve that department of your life and spice up your relationship. However, the focus of the discussion should be on the positive benefits that using sex toys can have on your relationship.

As is most likely the case, there may not be a problem with your partner at all. You may simply be an adventurous person looking to try something new. In this case, be sure to tell your partner that it isn't them and you're only looking to keep things as interesting as they've been. Making sure that you don't make them feel worthless in bed is half the battle. Explain that you think what you currently have is fantastic and that you'd like to try using toys as a way to keep things fresh and bring the two of you closer on an intimate level. After all, using sex toys has largely been associated as a solo activity that is very personal; sharing that with someone only serves to bring two people closer together because it requires a deeper level of trust. You'd be surprised how such intimacy can spice up relationships.

It’s Not What You Say, but How You Say It

Intimate questions to ask your partner about using sex toys

You've decided you want to bring the topic up to your partner, but are worried about how your partner may react. Here are some examples of intimate ways to bring up the conversation, in a positive and non-threatening way.

Invite Your Partner through Bedroom Games

Purchase a bedroom game that includes a discussion of fantasies. When this comes up, mention that you have a fantasy of using sex toys with your partner. If they seem turned off or indifferent, move on and consider bringing it up a different time. However, if they seem receptive, continue the conversation. As an added bonus, a bedroom game is considered part of the line of sex toys. Getting them used to the idea slowly may be your best chance of getting them to say yes!

Intimate Questions after an Intimate Moment

As they two of you lay comfortably intertwined after a rousing good sexual encounter, casually ask your partner what kinds of things they've always been interested in trying sexually. As they answer, be a good listener and encouraging. When they're done talking, they're likely to ask you the same question. If they didn't mention sex toys in their answer, bring it up in yours.

Simply Just Ask Your Intimate Question

Just be blunt. Depending on the nature of your relationship, the best way to bring it up may very well be to just flat out ask the other person how they feel about sex toys. However, even if you take the direct approach, start off in generalities and then move in for the more specific questions.

The Next Step: How to Use Sex Toys Together

Once you've both discussed and agreed to using sex toys, the next thing to do is choose one (or several) that work for both of you. As with bringing the subject up, you should be sensitive to your partner's feelings. They have likely agreed to this because it was something that you wanted to do, especially if they were uncomfortable from the get go. Don't pick a dildo or vibrator so large in size that a man feels embarrassed next to it. Conversely, if you're a man, don't comment that a synthetic vagina feels nice and tight with a look of pure joy on your face. In either case, if you're insensitive to your partner's feelings you may find that your new toy is the only action you'll be getting for awhile.