Kinky Sex: Introducing Fetish Sex to Your Lover

Sexual Fetish: Kinky Sex to Keep Your Sex Life Hot

 

Are you ready for something completely different? It will either strike you as deliciously risky and tantalizing; something that instantly sparks a little plop of adrenalin, or you’ll hide your eyes because that “see-no-evil-hear-no-evil” sensibility you learned as a kid applies to what you read, too. But the fact is that “kinky sex” and “fetish,” when shared by willing and eager lovers, and depending on who you ask, aren’t necessary evil at all, any more than eating spicy food or dressing up for a Halloween party is inherently wrong. It’s all in the mind of the beholder, it’s a taste thing, a preference, and behind closed doors it’s always a judgment call.

 

What Is Kinky Sex, Anyhow?

This is like asking the question, “what is good music, anyhow?” Again, it depends on who you ask, because one person’s melodic masterpiece is another person’s reason to buy earplugs. For some, kinky sex is anything other than the missionary position. For others, it involves the use of props and costumes and even things that go ouch in the night. The Merriam-Webster dictionary tells us it is “relating to, having, or appealing to unconventional tastes (in sex).” Fair enough, but again, the creative use of whipped cream in bed, while conventional to some, is a completely abominable notion to others. Wikipedia.com, that know-all-be-all source of wisdom for our age, reveals a more commonly held context: “a term used to refer to a broad range of sexual practices such as spanking, bondage, domination and submission, sadomasochism and sexual fetishism.”

 

Fetish Sex: A Sub-set of Kinky Sex

Clearly, the language of this terrain is as risky as the occasional whips and handcuffs one finds there. In general, though, it holds that if you utilize any object other than your body for sexual purposes, whether you wear it, play with it or use it as a means of fascination or restraint, you have crossed over into the realm of fetish sex. Undeniably, no matter how you define it, wearing kid gloves or boots to bed is kinky, and it is also a classic example of fetish, while whipped cream is simply kink without fetish. Before you open this can of dark little worms with your lover, it’s best to orient yourself to the vocabulary and the social context that may or not cause it to be received with open arms. Because you may be heading down a path that leads to bliss and fulfillment, or one that positions you as something from which you may never recover. Even in the most adventurous of sexual relationships, the line between “play” and “kink” can be fuzzy, and because fetish sex is even deeper into the realm of kink, it can be a deal breaker. Just as it can be a source of tremendous intimacy and pleasure.

 

Kinky Sex and The Language of Sexual Fetish

It makes perfect sense to assume that you wouldn’t want to explore the notion of fetish sex with your lover unless you had some notion that he or she will welcome the idea. Fetish isn’t something you roll out on a first date, it’s an evolution of intimacy that in most cases manifests as clues and preferences that lead to a moment truth: you decide to talk about it. In his bestselling novel “Darkness Bound,” author Larry Brooks suggests that lovers “embrace the ridiculous with complete and utter seriousness.” Because while wearing a negligee is naughty fun, wearing a leather hood crosses the line into territory that must be mutually agreeable. Communication is the key, and in and of itself becomes a source of great anticipatory foreplay as the enticing promise of the forbidden becomes a real possibility. Only by discussing it can boundaries and the pace of exploration be defined, and it’s far better to dismiss or condone the use of nipple clips over coffee at Starbucks than it is in the heat of the moment.

 

Fetish Sex – What It Means, and Why You Shouldn’t Care

Fetishes are fixations with a back story, roots that extend deep into the psyche. They come from childhood programming and the expression of inadequacies – the child of a stern mother may crave the discipline of a dominatrix, the water boy on the football team may desire to be the master of his domain, the woman who runs a company may long for the release of power as a submissive. Talk about it, sure, but don’t think for a moment you can talk it away, the discussion is merely an announcement of interest and a setting of limits and direction. Who knows, you may find your partner’s little treasure chest of fantasies and secrets to be even darker and more complex than your own. Lucky for you if they are.

The result of it all is the Holy Grail of successful relationships: intimacy. There is nothing more intimate, more bonding, than a dirty little secret between lovers. Because when it comes to preferences, the only real evil is when those of one opinion force their views and their judgment on others. And there’s nothing remotely sexy about that at all.

 

Fun Fetish Sex Facts

In a study by Leitenberg and Henning, sexual fantasy is common when individuals are masturbating, surprisingly up to 80% of men admitted to having had fantasies during masturbation, while only 67% of women.


Did you know?

A large percentage of people, who have a lack of fantasy, or guilt surrounding fantasy, may be more likely to suffer from a sexual dysfunction.