The Torah’s Commandments of Sexual Enjoyment


“God’s first commandment given to man in the Torah is a positive one. ..Enjoy what I have created.


Genesis Chapter 2 בְּרֵאשִׁית

טז  וַיְצַו יְהוָה אֱלֹהִים, עַל-הָאָדָם לֵאמֹר:  מִכֹּל עֵץ-הַגָּן, אָכֹל תֹּאכֵל. 16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying: ‘Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat;
יז  וּמֵעֵץ, הַדַּעַת טוֹב וָרָע–לֹא תֹאכַל, מִמֶּנּוּ:  כִּי, בְּיוֹם אֲכָלְךָ מִמֶּנּוּ–מוֹת תָּמוּת. 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it; for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.’


“of every tree in the garden”  – God created the universe for man to enjoy the pleasures and delights of his creation. As it is written;  “God Commanded the man…”

The Jerusalem Talmud highlights this torah source and the importance for man to perform the Mitzvah, ‘to enjoy the pleasures God has created’:

“In the future we will all have to answer to God for all that our eyes saw [in His world, with all it has to offer] and did not partake of” (Tractate Kiddushin, 4:12, commentary of the Meshech Chochma). 


“The Torah’s view of sexuality is a perfect illustration of the general Torah attitude towards the physical world and its pleasures: the Seer of Lublin (Rabbi Yaakov Yitzchak Horowitz 1745- 1815) emphasized that a person must feel and express gratitude to the almighty when he experiences sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasures, like all physical pleasures, the Seer explained, is an opportunity to feel gratitude to God”( Marital intimacy by Rabbi Avraham Peretz Friedman )

Psalm 100   ***( a personal favorite of mine &  the chosen theme for

א  מִזְמוֹר לְתוֹדָה:    הָרִיעוּ לַיהוָה, כָּל-הָאָרֶץ.

1 A Psalm of thanksgiving. Shout unto the LORD, all the earth.

ב  עִבְדוּ אֶת-יְהוָה בְּשִׂמְחָה;    בֹּאוּ לְפָנָיו, בִּרְנָנָה.

2 Serve the LORD with gladness; come before His presence with singing.


Torah observant Jews understand that service to god is everything and if performing gods commandments brings joys of pleasure, how wonderful is it that  we are rewarded with yet another opportunity to express gratitude to god.

Brit The Covenant

Sex is one of the most intense physical pleasures of the  world’s delights, and perhaps that is the reason why God chose the sexual organ for the sign of his covenant between Man and God.

יא  וּנְמַלְתֶּם, אֵת בְּשַׂר עָרְלַתְכֶם; וְהָיָה לְאוֹת בְּרִית, בֵּינִי וּבֵינֵיכֶם. 11 And ye shall be circumcised in the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of a covenant betwixt Me and you. (Genesis 17)



Interesting…God chose  the covenant as a sign on the male sexual organ, the body part which delivers intense pleasures. The penis was chosen as our constant reminder, to remain focused on our special relationship with God, with gratitude to enjoy the  life’s pleasures that God has created with morality.

The Mitzvah of Brit Milah proclaims the Jews’ recognition that God is not to be excluded from any human endeavor. ( Yehudah HaLevi, Kuzari)



R. Meir in the Talmud Niddah (31b) asks the question

   ”Why did the Torah ordain that the uncleanness of menstruation should continue for seven days?” His answer goes on to show the brilliance of the Torah’s encouragement of marital intimacy and its pleasures between husband and wife.

   “Because being in constant contact with his wife [a husband might] develop a loathing towards her. The Torah, therefore, ordained: Let her be unclean for seven days in order that she shall be beloved by her husband as at the time of her first entry into the bridal chamber.“

R. Meiris very clear that the reasoning for the separation of husband and wife for seven days is to increase their desires, and to increase the pleasures of marriage and intimacy. ….(And maybe even spice things up)

“The laws of Niddah, calling as they do for periodic separation and abstention, protect the couple from overindulgence and over familiarity that quickly lead to jasding, dissatisfaction, disgust and restlessness. “    Marital Intimacy Rabbi, Avraham Peretz Friedman


The Mitzvah of Onah 

“Just as one must be well versed in the laws of Niddah, so, too, one must be fluent in the laws of Onah. There is nothing blemished, shameful, or ugly, God forbid – there is only holiness and purity, when intimacy is performed properly.” “Or LaYesharim” R. Zerach Eidelitz, author (R. Yonaton Eibeschitz )


Genesis 2

כד  עַל-כֵּן, יַעֲזָב-אִישׁ, אֶת-אָבִיו, וְאֶת-אִמּוֹ; וְדָבַק בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ, וְהָיוּ לְבָשָׂר אֶחָד. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.

Genesis 2
Devek, the Torah’s term for complete intimacy between husband and wife, encompasses the physical, the emotional, and the spiritual.

This is what  Rashi say about Devek Talmud (Sanhedrin 58a-b)

“If she does not derive pleasure from sexual intimacy, she does not cleave (Devek) to him.”

י  אִם-אַחֶרֶת, יִקַּח-לוֹ–שְׁאֵרָהּ כְּסוּתָהּ וְעֹנָתָהּ, לֹא יִגְרָע. 10 If he take him another wife, her food, her raiment, and her conjugal rights (onatah), shall he not diminish.

“And if (…multiple wives was expected ) he realizes that she is enticing him and trying to please him and adorning herself for him so that he should notice her – he must approach her sexually.” Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 240:1)

Knowledge of a Wife’s Personal Taste

“Knowledge of a wife’s personal taste – in all matters, not just in matters of intimacy – is so important to the long term success of a marriage that the Torah calls on the husband to devote the entire first year of marriage free of any and all distractions.” 
‘Marital Intimacy’ by Rabbi Avraham Peretz Friedman

Deuteronomy 24:5 דְּבָרִים

ה  כִּי-יִקַּח אִישׁ, אִשָּׁה חֲדָשָׁה–לֹא יֵצֵא בַּצָּבָא, וְלֹא-יַעֲבֹר עָלָיו לְכָל-דָּבָר:  נָקִי יִהְיֶה לְבֵיתוֹ, שָׁנָה אֶחָת, וְשִׂמַּח, אֶת-אִשְׁתּוֹ אֲשֶׁר-לָקָח. 5 When a man taketh a new wife, he shall not go out in the host, neither shall he be charged with any business; he shall be free for his house one year, and shall cheer his wife whom he hath taken.

Passionate sexual desire and physical pleasures are tools that strengthen emotional intimacy in our relationships. The Torah clearly lays out the blueprint for a happy marriage with sexual pleasure as a very necessary tool. For it is commanded from God  “cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh” .


Article Written by Bruce Diller Verstandig, Founder/CEO Together Pleasure Inc.

Bruce is committed to Judaism and is a member of an Orthodox Synagogue on the Upper East Side of Manhattan in NYC.
Bruce is the founder of “if it’s in the Torah its Organic”, with its principle theme “evdo ess hasem b’shimcha” serve god with joy” psalm 100  and the owner/developer of (in development), as a nonprofit ‘tikun olem’ (repair the world) project of his.

Having being thrown out of Ramaz in the seventh grade enabled Bruce to learn the beauty of Judaism, God and Torah as best said in Psalm 100, “Serve God with Joy.”  To learn about the vision and to contact Bruce Diller Verstandig CEO Together Pleasure Inc. call 646-233-1970 and yes seeking backers for and would love to hear from you, email bruce(at) .

Together Pleasure founded core principle and trademarked tag line “ToGetHer Pleasure is Together Pleasure.” We are committed to bringing couples closer, both emotionally and physically. This philosophy is highlighted in our professionally written guides and articles on both and and the soon to be launched Group Practice of Healthcare Professionals at .













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