The main problem with sex in long term relationships is that the initial spark tends to disappear. When you two first met, everything was new and exciting. You didn’t know each other’s bodies, you didn’t know each other’s desires, and you didn’t know exactly what your sex was going to be like. Now that you’ve been together for a while, you know all of those things. And since variety is the spice of life, your sex life has dwindled from jalapeno hot to pepperoni mild. Fortunately, you can easily spice up your sex life with a few simple tricks. Here are ten ideas to get you started.
1. Change your routine.
If you have been seeing your lover for a while, chances are that you’ve gotten into a routine. You probably have the same kind of sex, on the same kind of days, at the same kind of time, in the same kind of place. While this routine may be comfortable, it’s certainly not sexy. Surprise your lover one night and try to have sex in a random way, on a random day, at a random time, in a random place. Just by breaking out of your routine, you will be able to rekindle some of the fire that you lost when your sex life became mundane.
2. Express yourself.
If you find your partner appealing, you shouldn’t be afraid to say it – and you shouldn’t be afraid to be risqué in the process. Surprise your lover by leaving a voice mail, text message, email, or personalized not that expresses exactly what you want to do to him or her when you meet. This steamy expression will leave your partner sweating until your next interlude arrives.
3. Reveal your fantasies.
Nearly everyone has a hidden fantasy or two and there’s nothing sexier than making those fantasies a reality. Tell your lover your deepest, darkest fantasy and try to act it out together. If that’s too far away from your general routine for you, try making a fantasy night once a week or once a month. Designate that night to acting out a fantasy and your relationship will be spicier than ever.
4. Watch a dirty movie.
One of the best ways to spice up your own sex life is to watch something spicy together. Make it a point to rent a pornographic movie at least once or twice a month. Take turns choosing the movie to make sure that you both get to see exactly what you want. If you do this, you’ll probably only make it through the first ten minutes of the movie before you start acting out your own dirty sex scenes.
5. Make your own dirty movie.
If you are in a trusting relationship and you are not worried about your sex tape leaking out on the Internet, you should consider making your own dirty movie. You can either act out a particular scenario or record the reality of your situation. In either case, you will both be as turned on while you make your debut film as you will be whenever you decide to watch it.
6. Go on a shopping spree.
While you are at the sex shop buying or renting dirty movies, you might as well pick up a few sex toys while you are there. Try to focus on toys that will benefit both of you. For instance, if you buy a vibrating bullet, both of you will benefit from its vibrations. Similarly, if you purchase some edible body paint, both of you will be able to use it. Just make sure that you buy sex toys that you are comfortable enough to use or you will not be able to heat up anything but your credit card bill.
7. Talk dirty.
Sometimes there is nothing more sensual than verbalizing your hidden thoughts and desires. Tell your partner exactly what you want to do to him or her and don’t be afraid to say what you want done to yourself. This bit of naughty talk will spice things up in a matter of seconds!
8. Read some erotica.
If you are not comfortable enough to express your own dirty thoughts, you can easily read some erotica instead. Try to purchase some type of erotic anthology that is filled with numerous stories. Take turns reading to each other and feel free to pleasure each other while you do so. By the time you finish reading one story – if you can even get that far – you’ll both be more than ready to pounce on each other.
9. Lose control.
If you are in a trusting relationship, there is nothing wrong with relinquishing your control every once in a while. Put yourself at the mercy of your partner and let him or her go wild. This will be equally arousing for both of you and this is one technique that will never go stale.
10. Use your senses.
You have five senses and you should use all of them. Light some scented candles, feed each other fruit, play some romantic music, rub each other with silk, and leave the lights on. By incorporating all of your senses into your experience, you will become immersed in each other’s essence. As long as you are lost in one another, there will be no way for you to avoid the spice that your sex life was previously missing.